What’s on my mind? Dreams are like spark plugs. They can move you from Eh? to Be. Do you dream in color, and along story lines? I do.
Last night, Himself prepared one of my favorite dinners: Grandpa’s Secret Macaroni and Cheese:
He invented this terrific recipe, but lately, the cheese has seemed a little runny. Too much cheese? Too much milk? He wasn’t sure. Next time, he said, he wouldn’t guess, but would measure the cheese precisely.
Dull-witted gum-snapper that I am, I didn’t give this much thought. Hey! As long as someone’s willing to make and serve me dinner, I’m not about to complain.
(Chug-chug-chug … Sound of brain processing cheese problem overnight.)
Voilà! I sprang from bed at 5:45. The answer had come in a dream! We would …
- Grate two portions of cheese, one weighing slightly more than the other.
- Place each quantity of cheese in an identical plastic container.
- Build two side-by-side chutes, the same length and width, with a gate not far from the inside of each, rodeo-style.
- Duct-tape the containers of cheese onto the backs of two mice of identical weight and age.
- Place one mouse in each chute (the smell of cheese on their backs driving them into a frenzy).
- Fire a gun (BLAM!) as we simultaneously raise the gates so each mouse can race to the bottom of its chute. The first to arrive will have the correct quantity of cheese on its back for Himself to use in his recipe. (Bonus: It’s already grated! All Himself has to do is un-duct the winning mouse and use the cheese in his recipe.)
So that we wouldn’t have to bend over too far, we wouldn’t conduct this scientific experiment on the floor, but on the kitchen counter.
My first thought on waking was: Where does Himself keep the duct tape? My second was: RATS! We don’t have any mice. My third was: The best-laid plans of mice and men aft gang agley …
© Nicole Parton, 2019
