What’s on my mind? My dearly beloved husband, Himself, will be 75 on Saturday. What do you give a man who has everything he wants and needs? Stumped, I’m giving him 12 boxes of Girl Guide cookies, 20 cookies in each box, in a neat cardboard carrying case advertising (what else?) the Girl Guides.
At 70 calories per cookie, that's 16,800 calories (!!!) to carry Himself into his golden years. Admittedly, this isn’t the best birthday present he could have had, but Himself went into mourning when the Girl Guides ran out of cookies before they reached our house, and - despite their promises - never came back.
Although Himself is crazy about these cookies, 11 of those boxes will go straight into the (hah!) freezer, to be (hah!) shared with visitors and neighbors. I’m also taking Himself to dinner in a fine restaurant, which we’ll both enjoy.
PS: Himself read this post late Friday. He found the cookies hidden behind the vacuum cleaner. We then r-r-ripped open two boxes. I told Himself I couldn’t think of a single thing to buy him, which is why he’s stuck with all these cookies.
Five minutes later, our TV set blew up. RIP, TV. I might have bought Himself a new TV for his birthday, had I not blown $60 on cookies ...
PPS: I kid you not about any of this. Having already eaten nearly two boxes of cookies, we both feel quite sick and must lumber off to bed. I hope our neighbors, Mr. Harris and Mrs. H, like Girl Guide cookies, because I’m going to leave some at their door, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
The cookies. Not me.
© Nicole Parton, 2019
