Missing in Action: Words

What’s on my mind? Grammar.

“How fun is this?” A smart, mature 50-year-old actually said that, the other day. I shouldn’t have been surprised. The word “much” seems to have fallen out of vogue: “It was so fun!” Another blow to lingua franca; another win for gibberish. Pity.

It’s one thing to say: “I love you so …” and quite another to end it with “much.” The first suggests pathos and longing; the second, volume.

“I love you so … (sniff! sniff!) 

“I love you so much!” Wow! 

Speaking of love, the most personal word I know has gone walkabout. 

“I” has dropped out of favor, demoting romance to “Love y-o-o-o-u!”  No matter how sincere the thought, “I” makes it more so. 

Even “Hi!” and “Hello!” are vanishing. 

People now sidle up to one another, COVID-wary, a little unsure. 

“Hey!” says one. “Hey!” grunts the other.

For now, that’s all I have to say. I have so work to do. 

© Nicole Parton, 2020

The Unraveling of America

What’s on my mind? Read on:

“In a dark season of pestilence, COVID has reduced to tatters the illusion of American exceptionalism. At the height of the crisis, with more than 2,000 dying each day, Americans found themselves members of a failed state, ruled by a dysfunctional and incompetent government largely responsible for death rates that added a tragic coda to America’s claim to supremacy in the world.”

- Rolling Stone Magazine, Aug. 6, 2020

Thus, as part of a stunning analysis of the disintegration of the American Dream, does Canadian-Colombian anthropologist Wade Davis observe the intersections of history, the COVID pandemic, and the view of today’s America from within and without. The article is called The Unraveling of America. You should read it.

In point after point after point, Davis unveils a portrait of a broken America: 

“COVID-19 didn’t lay America low; it simply revealed what had long been forsaken. As the crisis unfolded, with another American dying every minute of every day, a country that once turned out fighter planes by the hour could not manage to produce the paper masks or cotton swabs essential for tracking the disease. The nation that defeated smallpox and polio, and led the world for generations in medical innovation and discovery, was reduced to a laughing stock as a buffoon of a president advocated the use of household disinfectants as a treatment for a disease that intellectually he could not begin to understand ... 

“Americans have not done themselves any favors. Their political process made possible the ascendancy to the highest office in the land a national disgrace, a demagogue as morally and ethically compromised as a person can be. As a British writer quipped, ‘(T)here have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid’.”

Of US President Donald Trump, Davis writes: “... (T)his dark troll of a man celebrates malice for all, and charity for none ... Odious as he may be, Trump is less the cause of America’s decline than a product of its descent. As they stare into the mirror and perceive only the myth of their exceptionalism, Americans remain almost bizarrely incapable of seeing what has actually become of their country. The republic that defined the free flow of information as the life blood of democracy, today ranks 45th among nations when it comes to press freedom. 

“In a land that once welcomed the huddled masses of the world, more people today favor building a wall along the southern border than supporting health care and protection for the undocumented mothers and children arriving in desperation at its doors. In a complete abandonment of the collective good, U.S. laws define freedom as an individual’s inalienable right to own a personal arsenal of weaponry, a natural entitlement that trumps even the safety of children; in the past decade alone 346 American students and teachers have been shot on school grounds ...

“How can the rest of the world expect America to lead on global threats — climate change, the extinction crisis, pandemics — when the country no longer has a sense of benign purpose, or collective well-being, even within its own national community? Flag-wrapped patriotism is no substitute for compassion; anger and hostility no match for love. Those who flock to beaches, bars, and political rallies, putting their fellow citizens at risk, are not exercising freedom; they are displaying, as one commentator has noted, the weakness of a people who lack both the stoicism to endure the pandemic and the fortitude to defeat it. Leading their charge is Donald Trump, a bone spur warrior, a liar and a fraud, a grotesque caricature of a strong man, with the backbone of a bully.”

If you don’t have the time to read this outstanding piece, make the time: The Unraveling of America .

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/political-commentary/covid-19-end-of-american-era-wade-davis-1038206/

© Nicole Parton, 2020; excerpts © Wade Davis and Rolling Stone, 2020

Standin’ on Guard - Fer M’ Man

What’s on my mind? My son loves his Mama. That’s good, because I love him, too. A few days ago, my son warned me of a news report that locals on the island where we live have sighted at least one cougar. Tell me something I don’t know. A news story quoted a neighbor that: 

“It’s stalking our street, it’s stalking our neighbourhood and it’s not going away. We’re used to cougars here, we have cougars coming through all the time.”

After an aside that a cougar had killed and eaten a local cat, one woman said: “It was pretty upsetting so we’ve been kind of worried about our little chihuahuas.”

Chihuahuas? Hah! Those damn cougars are stalking bigger prey. 

This island is full of cougars. One’s even been patrolling our street, always on the look out. Many’s the time I’ve told Himself to: “Run, you fool! Run!” as I stand my ground, snarling: “BACK OFF, BITCH!” 

Plenty of retirees live here. Those effin’ cougars are sittin’ pretty - and I and every other woman in this village keeps a close watch. 

Unfortunately, what we elderly women lack in muscle, we make up for in flab. So when a cougar moves in for the attack, it’s hard to snatch back what’s ours.  

We of the unmuscular, flabby persuasion see cougars every day! Even as they purr and smile with their big, white teeth. we’re guarded as they approach. Every unmuscular, flabby woman in this village knows how to spot the tell-tale signs of a cougar in our midst - the high heels; the makeup on their calves to camouflage their varicose veins; the fake lashes flapping in time to their Botoxed lips.

Our little island is chock-a-block with widowers. Cougars can smell a newly minted widower a mile away. Once a cougar isolates the weakest from the herd, she thinks she can move in. We unmuscular, flabby types (with cows where our calves used to be) fret over who to trust in a tryst … Husband? Cougar?  Husband? Cougar? Husband? 

I never worry about Himself. I know how to fashion a pretty good lassoo. I rope him in by the neck, and we’re all good. If truth be told, I don’t even need to rope him in by the neck or any other body part ... He’s m’ lovin’ man. 

Some neighbor snapped a fuzzy photo of a cougar in his garden. This is the shot he took:

We unmuscular, flabby women know a cougar when we see one, and that’s no cougar, honey. That’s Bigfoot.

© Nicole Parton, 2020

One Small Voice: Why @FisherParton Matters

Important Note: My computer-savvy son agrees that I will likely never receive Twitter’s promised appeal. He advised me to change my password and try to receive Twitter’s confirmation code on a different cell phone. I did that; Twitter automatically deleted my “offensive” Trump tweet, and I’ve returned to Twitter. 

He and others agree the tweet did not constitute “hateful conduct.” His logical supposition is that because I retweeted my comments three times, the tweet triggered an algorithm that locked my Twitter account. All’s well that ends well, I suppose, even if (in my view) Twitter’s action infringes on freedom of speech - Nicole Parton 

What’s on my mind? Six days ago, on August 11, I was locked out of my Twitter account for “hateful conduct.” 

The post that precedes this one (On Effing Morons) accurately explains the issue and accurately reports my offending statements on Twitter. 

Today is August 17. I want to say more on this. And what I want to say is important. 

I have no intention of wringing my hankie in self-pity or lashing out at Twitter for its well-intentioned policy of censoring hateful conduct. Nor am I about to point a finger at my accuser. How could I? The individual is anonymous. 

I’ve only just begun to realize how serious the consequences of being locked out of Twitter are. As a writer, I often spend hours reading and communicating online. Even off Twitter, I am unable to read, respond to, comment on, or tick “like” to any post anywhere preceded by @ .

If you accept that the charge against me is baseless (as my August 12 post explains),  imagine yourself locked in a dark cell with no way to let Twitter friends and acquaintances know you’re there. Beyond this blog and comments I’ve made to Facebook friends, no one knows my voice has been silenced. 

Twitter is not Draconian. There’s an appeal process, and I’ve requested one. Twitter doesn’t know how soon they can consider that appeal. Fair enough: Drawing the line between fair comment, strong comment, and hateful comment can be like trying to decide where white becomes gray becomes black on a continuum. Many legal arguments have been made about that. 

Twitter’s autoreply has suggested more than once that my Twitter account will be unlocked if I drop my appeal, delete my tweet, and no longer engage in “hateful conduct” - which I take to mean making strong comments about US President Donald Trump. The thing is, I believe my tweet to be fair comment: I will not voluntarily delete it. 

When this shemozzle started, Twitter sent me an automated email informing me I was locked out of my account. Twitter wrote that if I gave them my cell and home phone numbers, Twitter would send me a “confirmation code” so I could resume limited Twitter service. I did this twice, but received no code. So Twitter now has my contact information, and I have zippo. 

Himself says the response to my appeal will never come, either. Although I’m an optimist, I have a hunch he’s right.

When I try to access Twitter, this message pops up: “If you’d rather just delete your tweet, you can cancel your appeal.” The words “rather just” fit a category I call  “shaded language.” The words make the tweet’s deletion sound like the logical and easy thing to so. It is neither.  

Although my tweet doesn’t name a specific person, you can draw your own conclusions to whom my tweet (again, see my previous post) referred. Having not received Twitter’s promised “confirmation code,” I have a feeling I won’t get my account back, regardless. Although I’ve been locked out of Twitter, friends have said my @FisherParton Twitter handle remains on view, as does the offending post. My guess is that Twitter can’t delete them without my agreement - but a guess is all that is.

This is an issue of freedom of expression. If you feel it’s appropriate, send me a supportive Tweet. 

I frequently post about Donald Trump. Shortly before my account was locked, I referred to Trump as “Liar, liar, pants on fire! I see an ash hole in those pants.” The “pants on fire” comment is a truism: Numerous fact checks prove Trump is a practised liar. “An ash hole in those pants” ...? There would be, if one’s pants were on fire, so this comment logically follows the first.  

In early May, Forbes magazine reported Trump had told some 18,000 lies while in office: https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidmarkowitz/2020/05/05/trump-is-lying-more-than-ever-just-look-at-the-data/#59a1709b1e17

I believe Donald Trump is morally corrupt. There’s plenty of evidence for that. Whether he’s criminally corrupt remains to be seen; at least one major office has an ongoing criminal investigation.  

Anyone, including Ever Trumpers, has the right to disagree with my comments. My account is open and welcoming to such disagreements. 

I don’t pretend to carry a lot of clout on Twitter. I’m one small person, with one small voice. Regardless, I’m a nuisance. Twitter hardly has the time or the resources to examine the specific wording of each charge of “hateful conduct.” If an Ever-Trumper complained ...? Maybe that’s what happened. 

 

If that’s so, the bigger issue is: How many other Trump opponents have got the bounce for expressing views unpopular with Ever-Trumpers? With such tweeters silenced, it’s impossible to know. Some locked-out tweeters may be scared. Some may miss Twitter so much, they’ll gladly follow Twitter’s suggestion to delete their tweet. Some may well deserve the censure, having strayed from strong speech into unacceptable hate speech. 

Us President Donald Trump has on several occasions stated “fake news” journalists (Def.: Anyone who disagrees with him) should be jailed. Former national security advisor John Bolton alleges Trump once said “scumbag” journalists should be executed. 

The brave journalists and publishers who expose Trump’s odious views should never be silenced. Nor should individuals whose one small voice speaks truth to power. In an open, fair democracy, one voice can become many. 

As long as this dangerous man remains in power, I will protest his autocratic régime with my last breath. It is Trump’s conduct that is “hateful” - not my small voice nor the many others whose measured, rational voices oppose all Trump represents. 

© Nicole Parton, 2020

On Effing Morons

Important Note: My computer-savvy son agrees that I will likely never receive Twitter’s promised appeal. He advised me to change my password and try to receive Twitter’s confirmation code on a different cell phone. I did that; Twitter automatically deleted my “offensive” Trump tweet, and I’ve returned to Twitter. 

He and others agree the tweet did not constitute “hateful conduct.” His logical supposition is that because I retweeted my comments three times, the tweet triggered an algorithm that locked my Twitter account. All’s well that ends well, I suppose, even if (in my view) Twitter’s action infringes on freedom of speech - Nicole Parton 

What’s on my mind? On August 11, my Twitter account was locked for “hateful conduct.” 

Although I didn’t mention US President Donald Trump by name, Twitter assumed my comment was about him. When a respected journalist tweeted (factually) that Trump recently called for the football season to proceed despite the coronavirus’ spread among team players, I tweeted this response: 

This “very stable genius” is a fool; imbecile; moron; dolt; halfwit; cretin; nincompoop; dolt; dullard; ignoramus; blockhead; idiot; simpleton; dunce; and dope ... The sort of guy who puts the “pig” in pigskin: Just plain stoo-pid. 

(I twice referred to the unnamed person as “blockhead” and “simpleton,” but I’ve since deleted those redundancies.) Strong language, I admit, but “hateful conduct”? I don’t think so. I’ve launched an appeal.

Twitter’s definition of “hateful conduct” is that tweets “may not promote violence against, threaten, or harass other people on the basis of race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religious affiliation, age, disability, or serious disease.”

That assessment is fair and reasonable. I agree with every word; don’t condone hate speech; would never cross that line; and don’t think in such terms. I applaud Twitter’s definition of hateful conduct. 

However, if Twitter upholds my lockout according to the above criteria, that will be an admission that an unnamed person has a “disability or serious disease” (the only criteria to come even close) and how can anyone say that of an unnamed person? 

Numerous psychiatrists and psychologists have, however, written that of Donald Trump - but I’m neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist.

For calling an unnamed person, “the sort of guy who puts the pig in pigskin,” I apologize. I was wrong to say that of an unnamed person.

I was wrong to have called him?/her? stoo-pid, as well as “a fool, imbecile, moron, dolt, halfwit, cretin, nincompoop, dullard, ignoramus, blockhead, idiot, dunce, dope, and simpleton, because how would I know? What I wrote didn’t name anyone.

Mea culpa. Maxima mea culpa. I was wrong. So very, very wrong. At least I didn’t call that unnamed person a “dunderhead” or a “dummy” - terms I reserve for effing morons, which I definitely, definitely didn’t say, but former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson did, with direct reference to Donald Trump. Perhaps Tillerson was also locked out of Twitter. 

Dunno, but Trump (or some minion) definitely fired him, as in: “You’re fired!” I used to lo-o-ove watching The Celebrity Apprentice, Trump’s yuk-a-minit reality show. It was fun watching Trump stick a shiv between people’s ribs as he yelled: “You’re fired!” 

Trump would get all riled up, but when he said: “You’re fired!” you could see he felt kinda good, like they weren’t even people and didn’t even have feelings. 

Everybody watched that show! Some people say Trump was himself fired from The Celebrity Apprentice, but he says his ratings were through the roof, so ya gotta believe the guy. As everyone knows, Donald Trump’s word is his bond. 

Any-hoo, I was wrong not to have included the words “dunderhead” and “dummy,” so I could add them to a more fulsome apology. But you can’t accuse me of saying “effing.” At no time did I say: “Donald Trump is an effing moron” - and nor did I say it of an unnamed person. 

Tillerson will forever carry the can for that one. I don’t need to apologize that he said: “Donald Trump is an effing moron.” I’m embarrassed to even print the words  that: “Donald Trump is an effing moron.” For shame, Mr. Tillerson! For shame!

I may be off Twitter, but Trump is not. A couple of years ago, he tweeted: “My two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.” Trump’s self-assessment is one of “a very stable genius.” 

Which most definitely puts the lie to Tillerson’s words that “Donald Trump is an effing moron.” Besides, I never trash-talk. Calling Trump “an effing moron” is beneath me - and the last thing I’d ever want would be having Donald Trump beneath me.

© Nicole Parton, 2020

I (Still) Believe the President, and in the President

Forgive me. I’m a little slow. So when this brilliant opinion piece appeared in yesterday’s Washington Post, I mistakenly thought George T. Conway III had lost his marbles - or been brainwashed. 

Conway is the respected Washington lawyer and husband of Kellyanne Conway, counselor to the President. He’s also no fan of Donald Trump, something he’s made clear as co-founder of The Lincoln Project, whose fact-based, anti-Trump ads have dented Trump’s support through the use of humor and sarcasm. 

In response, Trump has called Conway a “stone cold loser” - with no objection from Ms. Conway. Titled “I (Still) Believe the President, and in the President,” Conway’s column is too good not to share. The links throughout the piece are direct references to Trump’s statements and fact-based news stories. 

George T. Conway III Contributing columnist, August 10, 2020 at 3:39 p.m. PDT

I believe the president Made America Great Again. I believe we need him reelected to Make America Great Again Again.

I believe Joe Biden is “Sleepy” and “weak.” I believe Biden could “hurt God” and the Bible.

I believe that if Biden is elected, there will be “no religion, no anything,” and he would confiscate all guns, “immediately and without notice.” He would “abolish” “our great,” “beautiful suburbs,” not to mention “the American way of life.” There would be “no windows, no nothing” in buildings.

I believe the news media would have “no ratings” and “will go down along with our great USA!” if the president loses — and that this would be bad even though the media is fake.

I believe it’s normal for the president to say “Yo Semites” and “Yo Seminites,” “Thigh Land,” “Minne-a-napolis,” “toe-tally-taria-tism,” “Thomas Jeffers” and “Ulyss-eus S. Grant.” I believe it’s Biden who’s cognitively impaired.

I believe the president “aced” a “very hard” impairment test, and that his “very surprised” doctors found this “unbelievable.” I believe it was “amazing” he remembered five words, such as “person, woman, man, camera, TV” — in correct order. I believe he took the SAT himself.

I believe the president has “a natural ability,” like his “great, super-genius uncle” from MIT, which is why he understands “that whole world” of virology and epidemiology.

So I believed the president in January and February when he said covid-19 was “totally under control,” that it was Democrats’ “new hoax,” and that he was “not at all” worried about a pandemic. I believed him in March when he said he “felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.”

I believe the president and the doctor who believes in demon sperm and the medical use of space alien DNA, and not Anthony S. Fauci, who’s an “alarmist” and “wrong.”

I believe the president’s suggestions that physicians should try injecting patients with household disinfectants, and shining ultraviolet light inside their bodies, make perfect sense.

I believe the “books” and “manuals,” if someone would just read them, say “you can test too much” for covid-19. I believe we now have 5 million cases because we test so much, and that the president was right to slow testing down, unless he was kidding — in which case he was right not to.

I believe that the president has done a tremendous job fighting the virus — and that he shouldn’t “take responsibility at all”— even though about 160,000 Americans have died. I believe the virus “is what it is.”

I believe it isn’t racist to call the coronavirus “kung flu” or “the China Virus.” It isn’t racially divisive to say Black Lives Matter is a “symbol of hate,” to celebrate Confederate generals as part of our “Great American Heritage,” or to share video of someone shouting “white power,” which, like displaying the Confederate flag, is “freedom of speech.”

I believe that “when the looting starts, the shooting starts,” and that the president was just stating a fact, not making a threat, when he said that. I believe it was fine for federal law enforcement to fire tear gas and rubber pellet grenades at protesters so that the president could pose with a Bible in front of a church.

I believe that a 75-year-old protester in Buffalo may have been “an ANTIFA provocateur” who intentionally cracked his own skull in a “set up.”

I believe Rep. John Lewis made a “big mistake” not attending the president’s inauguration. I believe the president has done more for Blacks than any other president — perhaps even Abraham Lincoln, who “did good” although the “end result” was “questionable,” and certainly more than Lyndon B. Johnson, who signed into law the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which hasn’t “worked out” so well.

I believe the president has been treated worse than Lincoln, even though Lincoln was assassinated. I believe the president should be added to Mount Rushmore, pronto.

I believe it’s normal that the president wished his friend Ghislaine Maxwell “well” and good luck,” even though his administration charged her with sex trafficking teenage girls for another presidential friend, Jeffrey Epstein, whom the president says may have been killed in federal custody.

I believe the president rightly said of Maxwell, “Let them prove somebody was guilty.” I believe we don’t need evidence against former acting attorney general Sally Yates, because she was “part of the greatest political crime of the Century,” about which “ObamaBiden knew EVERYTHING!” And I believe it was fine for the president to baselessly suggest that a television host committed murder since the host said mean things about the president.

I believe that the reports Russia paid bounties to have U.S. soldiers killed, and that the president was briefed on it, are another “Fake News Media Hoax,” and that such intelligence never reached the president’s desk, even though his administration said otherwise.

I believe absentee voting, where voters mail in their ballots, is good, and that mail-in voting, where voters mail in their ballots, is totally different, and bad — and will result in “the most INACCURATE & FRAUDULENT Election” in history. Except in Florida, where absentee and mail-in voting are the same and both good, “because Florida has got a great Republican governor.”

I believe we should “Delay the Election until people can properly, securely and safely vote” — but that “SCHOOLS MUST OPEN IN THE FALL!!!”

I believe the president won the popular vote in 2016 “if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.” I believe he shouldn’t accept the election results if he loses in November.

PS from Nicole: In an interview this morning, Trump said: “George Washington would have had a hard time beating me before the plague came in, before the China plague.” Will this madness never end?

© George T. Conway III, The Washington Post, August 10, 2020

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

What’s on my mind? 

“It is what it is”: US President Donald J. Trump, Aug. 4, 2020, on the rapid increase in the number and rate of coronavirus deaths. 

• April 28: 1 million cases. Trump’s same-day response: “It will go down to zero, ultimately.”

• June 10: 2 million cases. Trump’s same-day response: “We may have some embers or some ashes or we may have some flames coming, but we’ll put them out. We’ll stomp them out.”

• July 7: 3 million cases. Trump’s same-day response: “I think we are in a good place.”

• July 23: 4 million cases. Trump’s same-day response: “The country is in very good shape …”

(On August 7, one day before the updated figures were announced,  Trump hosted a party for members of his exclusive Bedminster, New Jersey golf club. There was no social distancing. Almost no one wore masks. During that party, he stated: “The pandemic is disappearing. It’s going to disappear.”

(Calling in the media for a press conference, the event became a spectacle, with members of his golf club booing what they viewed as unfriendly questions and cheering those they liked. A good time was presumably had by all. 

(Trump also attended two fundrasing events in the Hamptons, bringing in $15-to-$20 million US. How much of this was taxpayer-funded, I don’t know.)

• August 8: The US hits 5 million coronavirus cases.

As I post this August 9, at 8:35 pm PST, the real-time Johns Hopkins COVID-19 cases in the US have increased to slightly less than 5.2 million. Not quite 12 hours later, the US has nearly 2,500 new cases. 

© Nicole Parton, 2020